Elisabeth Kübler-Ross has left an indelible mark in history as an American scientist, psychiatrist, psychologist and writer. She dedicated her life to studying a topic that many prefer to avoid – the topic of death. Read more at manhattanka.
Her work became a true breakthrough in the field of care for terminally ill patients, changing attitudes toward pain control and death itself. Kübler-Ross paved the way for a new field of thanatology and also initiated the development of palliative care for the dying in specialized facilities (hospices).
Her main contribution is the description of the five stages of grief experienced by those who are dying: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. This model, which has become a classic, has helped millions recognize and process their feelings during the loss of a loved one.
A Thorny Path to Realizing Her Dream, Against Her Father’s Will
Elisabeth was born as one of triplets and had very pessimistic survival predictions from doctors. She dreamed from a young age of connecting her future profession with medicine, becoming a doctor. Despite the wishes of her father, who wanted her to be a secretary in his business, she diligently pursued her goal. Working in various fields and helping as a volunteer in Poland and other European countries after World War II, she gained invaluable experience and knowledge. In 1957, after graduating from the University of Zurich, Elisabeth received her coveted medical degree.
Moving to the USA and a New Perspective on Medical Issues
In 1958, Elisabeth moved to the United States, where she completed a three-year residency in psychiatry at the Manhattan State Hospital. She was shocked to find that many doctors were unwilling to acknowledge the inevitability of the death of terminally ill patients, thereby depriving them of the necessary care. This issue deeply affected Kübler-Ross, and she began developing programs for the care and counseling of such individuals.
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In the early 1960s, while working as a research fellow at the University of Colorado School of Medicine, she lectured on the importance of compassionate and respectful treatment of those who were about to die.
Personal Life of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
In 1958, Elisabeth married her fellow student, American medical student Emanuel “Manny” Ross, and moved to the USA. Together, they interned at Glen Cove Hospital in Long Island. The couple had two children: a son, Kenneth (1960), and a daughter, Barbara (1963). They separated in 1979.
From 1987 to 1995, Kübler-Ross suffered several strokes, which led to partial paralysis on the left side of her body. During this time, the farm Healing Waters and the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Center also closed.
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After the fire at her property in Virginia and another stroke, she moved to Scottsdale, Arizona, in 1994. She ended up in a wheelchair after suffering a stroke a few months later. Kübler-Ross, aware of her condition, wanted to choose where she would meet her death on her own.
In 1997, Oprah Winfrey visited Arizona to interview Kübler-Ross and discuss whether she herself was going through the five stages of grief. In a 2002 interview with The Arizona Republic, she said that she was ready for death and even welcomed it, calling God a “damned procrastinator.”
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross passed away on August 24, 2004, at the age of 78 in a nursing home in Scottsdale. She was buried at Paradise Memorial Gardens in the same city.
In 2005, her son Ken Ross founded Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation in Scottsdale, Arizona.
Seminars that Changed the Perspective on Death
In 1965, Elisabeth became an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Chicago. There, she organized seminars where terminally ill patients shared their experiences and feelings. These conversations formed the basis of her famous model of the five stages of grief, described in her bestseller “On Death and Dying” (1969).
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and her colleagues interviewed thousands of patients and discovered a number of common traits in the experiences of people who went through clinical death.
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Patients often described their feelings as amazing and painless. They knew exactly where they were at the moment of death and seemed to float out of their bodies. There was no feeling of loneliness; it was as if they were meeting with family members or friends. Additionally, people described a sensation of moving to a place filled with psychic energy, light, love and warmth that surpassed anything they had ever felt in life. They did not wish to return to life.
Upon the end of the seminars, Kübler-Ross continued her active work. She gave lectures and worked with dying patients. Thanks to her efforts, medicine gradually moved away from ignoring the topic of death and began to focus more on alleviating the suffering of people at the end of life.
Kübler-Ross also played an important role in the establishment of the hospice movement and the promotion of palliative care, helping terminally ill individuals find proper care and support.
In the late 1970s, Kübler-Ross began to explore the issue of near-death experiences and gained knowledge in this area. She conducted out-of-body experiments and communicated with spiritual mentors. Although these studies were intriguing, they undermined her reputation in the eyes of some people.
At one of her psychiatric seminars, Kübler-Ross stated:
“I know for sure that life after death exists.”
This statement was immediately met with sharp criticism from the scientific community. The rejection of her ideas, as well as disagreement with the “institutional policies” of the hospital, made her resign in 1973.
By that time, Kübler-Ross had already received numerous invitations from around the world to conduct seminars on the topic of death and dying.
In 1976, Kübler-Ross met Jay Barham, a former farmer from Arkansas who founded the Church of the Facet of Divinity. Barham claimed to have a gift of communicating with spirits. Under his influence, Kübler-Ross, along with him and his wife, announced the establishment of a network of franchised centers specialized in counseling on life and death issues.
However, Barham’s activities attracted the attention of the San Diego District Attorney’s Office because of allegations of sexual harassment. Kübler-Ross stopped any kind of relations with him and later admitted her mistake, stating that he had deceived many people.
Despite this, her influence on medicine and psychiatry regarding death and dying is hard to overestimate. She wrote over 20 books, including her autobiography “The Wheel of Life: A Memoir of Living and Dying” (1997) and “On Grief and Grieving” (2005).
A significant milestone in her career was her work with children
Elizabeth devoted special attention to children in her work. She wrote two books focused on children’s perceptions of death: “Life with Death and Dying” (1981) and “On Children and Death” (1983).
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In these books, Kübler-Ross asserts that children understand death much earlier than is commonly believed and talk about it more openly than adults think. The language they use depends on their age.
Young children often use non-verbal symbolic language. They draw and use images or objects to express their understanding of death. This happens because they do not yet have the words to describe their feelings.
Older children, teenagers and sometimes even adults use verbal symbolic language. They tell stories and ask strange questions to express their experiences related to death. They may be afraid of directly asking about it, so they invent stories or pose indirect questions to get answers.